My Strong Tower

We've probably all quoted Einstein:

I know I have.  There are so many things I know that I don't put into action.  This one is so true it hurts.  I have had countless experiences when I know I have to do something different in a certain situation.  Still I fall because I don't think it through or am just too lazy to do anything different.  There are other times, however, when I have tried a new approach and it's paid off tremendously.  This will be my focus this year.  Beginnings.  Remember?  New Beginnings.

Without meaning to turn this into a soapbox, I have mentioned before how I have to fight depression.  It still rings true and may always be something with which I struggle.  It truly does have a hold on a person whether we like it or not.  I feel myself fighting it more and more each day.  I'm a very happy person.  I'm not at all dull.  I love to smile, laugh, have fun.  I'm a very positive person as well.  That's not the problem by any means.  It's how fast I fall from all that.  How one negative thing in my life can take all that away.  How I have to make sure I stay on top of the game and not let all the negativity get in the way of enjoying life.  My emotions have always been based on those around me.  I can't help it.  

I get upset if someone is negative in any way.  I don't get negativity.  I don't understand it.  Cruelty, lies, jealousy, competition, infidelity, theft, trouble making, I just can't take it and I want to steer clear as far as possible. Maybe I'm one of those people who only sees sunshine and rainbows, I don't know.  I just don't like dwelling in the things that don't produce a positive manifestation of some sorts.   After all, who wants to be known as the trouble maker?  The thief?  The liar?  The infidel?  Prayers out to you if you or someone you know is all four of those things.  I know someone like that as well.

Depression has affected all areas of my life.  From being the wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister I know I am, depression keeps me.  I've only gotten a major wake up call a few times when I've had to pull myself out.  Again, as mentioned before, I had to have anti depressants in the past to pull me out of my slump.  Since then, I recognize it far before it gets that bad.  I'm so grateful for that!  It's not a place I want to be.  

I don't compare myself to others.  I have always been the person to compete with myself.  I lose to myself the majority of the time, but still, it's my life and only my life.  It's my struggle, but I have to remember that I'm not the only one fighting for me.  My God is.  He is my strong tower and I WILL remember that on a daily basis from here on out.  I was looking up the best way to explain the metaphor of God being a strong tower and came across this blog post. It explains it the exact way I wanted to:  Building Your Spirit  (Please take the time to read this post!!!  It is in every way amazing!  

I am a very organized person.  I LOVE to organize.  I get so down when the others I live with aren't.  I feel they have no respect for me and that I'm constantly spinning my wheels.  It's hard for me to accept they aren't like me in that area.  Why can't they be?  Because they aren't me.  Period.  They have their own way of doing things and maybe they just aren't as uptight as me.  Maybe, just maybe they have their minds on more important things.  Like living.  

I hardly ever finish anything I start.  Ok, maybe never.  My excuse is that I'm always having to stop what I'm doing to do something else that demands my attention.  I know I have a problem when it comes to starting back up on something I've gotten my mind off.  It's exhausting for me to have to dig things back out just to finish a little bit of cutting in when I've almost finished painting a room.  It's exhausting for me to have to go to the store to buy something I ran out of in order to finish something.  Man, I'm lazy over the little things.  I just have a one track mind and when my mind is focused on something, that's all that matters.  A few minutes of my time and I just can't seem to make myself do it.

I am trying to focus on the new beginnings in my life and stay out of depression from now on.  Maybe one day I won't have to fight it as much, or preferably not at all.  In order to do that, I feel I must create a new routine.  Not the same one I've been doing.  (Insanity)  I read somewhere yesterday that a woman was teaching her kids about resolutions and instead of having them make up some for the year, she had them make up one for each month of the year.  I thought that was just BRILLIANCE!  That will instill some positive habits for sure!  Something I need for myself, though I don't normally make resolutions with each new year.

So, the point of this post of mine is to remind myself of these new beginnings.  I'm working on a list of things.  A reachable list.  A list I can finish.  With God's help, and with only God's help can I accomplish these things. I know since my mind is as scattered as this blog is, you shouldn't have much faith in me, but this is the "new me".  The "real me".  Relying on no other besides myself and help from my Strong Tower. 

I came across this awesome printout for my household binder which will really help keep me on track.   The Project Girl  She also has one already filled out here.  I'm going to use this on a daily basis.  I really don't know why I never thought of doing it like this before.

So, goodbye with the procrastination.  That's pretty much my major downfall.  Once I've done away with it, you may see me with a cape ready to save the world.  ;)  

There is so much more to this than what I've said so far, but I'd rather break it all down into different posts.  Some things are probably a little more personal than you'd like to know, but hey, such is life, right?  I'm still keeping it real.