When God Speaks To Others For You

My goals were going ok.  Not perfect, but ok.  I blame too much going on to focus too hard on them.  After all, no one is perfect.

Right?

(Justification of my failures)  

I seriously wasn't being hard on myself at all.  I'm still not, actually.  I do have a different view, however.  I received this text message from my stepson yesterday.

 When I read it, I thought, eh, ok.  Didn't really pertain to me at the time.  At least I didn't think so.  I've never been an avenger.  The scripture he mentioned is why I've never been an avenger.  Then, later on during the day, I was shopping iTunes when I came across a Christian group who is from Monroe, La where we moved from a couple years ago.  This group came to our church several times and I just fell in love with them.  So, seeing them on iTunes was more than thrilling for me.  (I bought every album)  As I impatiently waited for all the songs to finish downloading, I played the first one that was finished.  It.Brought.Me.Back.  Back into the Realm of God that I have been out of for so long now.  Christian?  Yes.  Of course.  Always.  Focused on God wholly?  No.  That's obvious.  I then reread Adam's text message.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am ALWAYS telling people who are going through rough times, "It's not WHAT you go through, but HOW you go through it."  I tell them this because I KNOW it to be true!  Being focused on the positive, on God, having faith this too shall pass, KNOWING (time to look up at my subtitle to this blog that's been here all along)..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.   It's right there.  All of it.  Right there in my face and I'm totally not focused on anything but trying to figure out when it's all going to end and when I'll get my break.  


So, even though I really didn't have revenge on my mind,  I realized Adam was saying much more than that.  God is going to rescue me.  He is right here with me, watching everything I'm having to go through.  Everything that will bring honor and glory to him in the long run.  I don't have to worry.  I don't have to let bitterness take a spot in my heart and steal my happiness.  I am only bound if I choose to be.  I choose to have my focus on God.  My Strong Tower.  How ever so quickly I tend to forget.  

So, before I fell too hard again, my lens has been refocused.  I was almost redirected there, but I'm good.


Edited to add this:

I failed to mention the song that downloaded first was one I used to love, but mainly because it was "catchy".  I loved the lyrics before, but yesterday, they really spoke to me!  Funny that this was the first song that downloaded even though it was chosen well down the list.

It's called "All It Takes is a Shout"

The chorus:
All it takes is a shout
and the walls fall down
walk in and claim the ground
that the devil's had too long

All it takes is a shout
with a voice of praise
and a little faith, no doubt
all it takes is a shout

Of course the second verse was VERY powerful:

I've been circling my problems wishing they would disappear
While their yelling and their taunting, keeping my bound in my fear
Now I hear the Spirit saying turn and face your enemy
God has finally won the battle lift your voice and you will see!

Such a blessing to have heard and seen this group in person.

Check them out:

My Strong Tower

We've probably all quoted Einstein:

I know I have.  There are so many things I know that I don't put into action.  This one is so true it hurts.  I have had countless experiences when I know I have to do something different in a certain situation.  Still I fall because I don't think it through or am just too lazy to do anything different.  There are other times, however, when I have tried a new approach and it's paid off tremendously.  This will be my focus this year.  Beginnings.  Remember?  New Beginnings.

Without meaning to turn this into a soapbox, I have mentioned before how I have to fight depression.  It still rings true and may always be something with which I struggle.  It truly does have a hold on a person whether we like it or not.  I feel myself fighting it more and more each day.  I'm a very happy person.  I'm not at all dull.  I love to smile, laugh, have fun.  I'm a very positive person as well.  That's not the problem by any means.  It's how fast I fall from all that.  How one negative thing in my life can take all that away.  How I have to make sure I stay on top of the game and not let all the negativity get in the way of enjoying life.  My emotions have always been based on those around me.  I can't help it.  

I get upset if someone is negative in any way.  I don't get negativity.  I don't understand it.  Cruelty, lies, jealousy, competition, infidelity, theft, trouble making, I just can't take it and I want to steer clear as far as possible. Maybe I'm one of those people who only sees sunshine and rainbows, I don't know.  I just don't like dwelling in the things that don't produce a positive manifestation of some sorts.   After all, who wants to be known as the trouble maker?  The thief?  The liar?  The infidel?  Prayers out to you if you or someone you know is all four of those things.  I know someone like that as well.

Depression has affected all areas of my life.  From being the wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister I know I am, depression keeps me.  I've only gotten a major wake up call a few times when I've had to pull myself out.  Again, as mentioned before, I had to have anti depressants in the past to pull me out of my slump.  Since then, I recognize it far before it gets that bad.  I'm so grateful for that!  It's not a place I want to be.  

I don't compare myself to others.  I have always been the person to compete with myself.  I lose to myself the majority of the time, but still, it's my life and only my life.  It's my struggle, but I have to remember that I'm not the only one fighting for me.  My God is.  He is my strong tower and I WILL remember that on a daily basis from here on out.  I was looking up the best way to explain the metaphor of God being a strong tower and came across this blog post. It explains it the exact way I wanted to:  Building Your Spirit  (Please take the time to read this post!!!  It is in every way amazing!  

I am a very organized person.  I LOVE to organize.  I get so down when the others I live with aren't.  I feel they have no respect for me and that I'm constantly spinning my wheels.  It's hard for me to accept they aren't like me in that area.  Why can't they be?  Because they aren't me.  Period.  They have their own way of doing things and maybe they just aren't as uptight as me.  Maybe, just maybe they have their minds on more important things.  Like living.  

I hardly ever finish anything I start.  Ok, maybe never.  My excuse is that I'm always having to stop what I'm doing to do something else that demands my attention.  I know I have a problem when it comes to starting back up on something I've gotten my mind off.  It's exhausting for me to have to dig things back out just to finish a little bit of cutting in when I've almost finished painting a room.  It's exhausting for me to have to go to the store to buy something I ran out of in order to finish something.  Man, I'm lazy over the little things.  I just have a one track mind and when my mind is focused on something, that's all that matters.  A few minutes of my time and I just can't seem to make myself do it.

I am trying to focus on the new beginnings in my life and stay out of depression from now on.  Maybe one day I won't have to fight it as much, or preferably not at all.  In order to do that, I feel I must create a new routine.  Not the same one I've been doing.  (Insanity)  I read somewhere yesterday that a woman was teaching her kids about resolutions and instead of having them make up some for the year, she had them make up one for each month of the year.  I thought that was just BRILLIANCE!  That will instill some positive habits for sure!  Something I need for myself, though I don't normally make resolutions with each new year.

So, the point of this post of mine is to remind myself of these new beginnings.  I'm working on a list of things.  A reachable list.  A list I can finish.  With God's help, and with only God's help can I accomplish these things. I know since my mind is as scattered as this blog is, you shouldn't have much faith in me, but this is the "new me".  The "real me".  Relying on no other besides myself and help from my Strong Tower. 

I came across this awesome printout for my household binder which will really help keep me on track.   The Project Girl  She also has one already filled out here.  I'm going to use this on a daily basis.  I really don't know why I never thought of doing it like this before.

So, goodbye with the procrastination.  That's pretty much my major downfall.  Once I've done away with it, you may see me with a cape ready to save the world.  ;)  

There is so much more to this than what I've said so far, but I'd rather break it all down into different posts.  Some things are probably a little more personal than you'd like to know, but hey, such is life, right?  I'm still keeping it real.

New Beginnings

Well, I got the house!  I've been busy setting up the back room as a classroom and haven't had time to do much more than that.  I've been so happy over there I dread coming back home, back to the work that needs to be done here, back to reality.  I don't have furniture or anything at the new house, so it's a bit uncomfortable for people, including these people I live with, so I've been by myself most of the time over there.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that!

The start of a new year always seems to make people want to start new with whatever in their lives.  I can already tell that's going to be the theme of my life this year.  New.  I can dig it.  I saw on other blogs where people have a word for the new year.  Something that will be with them all year, something they strive for.  I liked that idea so I thought about it for a moment.  My word?  It's simple.  Beginnings.  

There is a lot of changes going on in my life right now.  Things that are out of the blue, things that have been around and ignored for years now, and things I'm too scared to even think about.  The fears I have is what has kept me from changing before.  It's not because of the new year, of course, but suddenly I feel confident enough, strong enough, to make things happen.  The fear won't hold me back now.  I guess it's true about the older, the wiser.  Hmmm, wish I'd have listened when I was younger, right?

I'll get into all that at a later time, but for now, I just wanted to check in and let ya know I was still kicking.

It's going to be a great year!  How's your year going so far?

Accomplishments

I got a text message this morning from my Realtor.  She talked to the title company and will know something by this afternoon.  Today will be long.

I've been driving by the new house every time I run into town just to see those sweet words on the sign.  "Contract Pending".  It's almost as exciting as seeing the word "Sold".  Well, that is until the new wears off and you are in a commitment for what seems like a lifetime.  I'll savor the moment for now though because the sign was finally changed yesterday.  Why am I more excited about this sale than any of the other homes we've bought in the past?  Maybe because I know this is MY thing.  The house will be in my name only.  Just like my car.  Why do we women need that little sense of accomplishment?  I know who I am.  I know I'm worthy.  Still it's a sweet, sweet feeling that hopefully won't kick me in the tail later down the road.

So before all these posts I've made recently, my last one was while I was working on Emily's new bedroom.  I am finished with it for the most part.  I still need to get the headboard I want her to have along with the bedding.  Other than that, I have to finish painting her furniture.  It was in storage and our storage building stinks like crazy.  It has a very strange creosote smell.  It seeped into the furniture and I refuse to paint it until it's aired out.  I just have to get it outside in some fresh air and sunshine and hopefully that will get rid of the awful smell.  Once that's done, it will only be a day or two for it to be finished.  I'll probably wait until after Christmas to do all that.

Our bedroom and bath hasn't been touched in a few months.  I still have unfinished drywall in the kitchen.  Every time I look at it I cringe.  Floating drywall is somewhat therapeutic for me but I just can't make myself do it.  

I need a robot.

Another Adventure

I have a lot of catching up to do, which means a lot of posts in one day for me to write and for you to read.  I'll pretend you don't have last minute Christmas shopping to do or parties to go to.  


Last night I stumbled upon an idea.  I was researching some extras for some Christmas gifts I had bought for the adults in our families when this idea hit me like a ton of bricks.  I did some research and found the start up cost for this adventure is somewhat minimal.  It's affordable, no doubt.  Will it thrive in my little town?  Oh yes, I do believe it will.  There is no competition whatsoever here and they are wonderful products, not to mention our little town needs something like this.  I dare not say what it is yet, for I don't want competition before I even start.  Let's just say kids and adults alike will love it.

I'm allowing myself one year to have this little business up and running.  It's not a big thing at all, but it's something that really looks like a lot of fun that will bring in a little extra cash.

More on this later...

Also, I'm in the process of writing a book.  It's something I've always wanted to do and whether or not it will get published years down the road doesn't matter to me.  My kids enjoy my stories, so I wanted to write them all down for something they could enjoy.  If it's something worthy enough to get published, so be it.  If not, nothing lost.

Ok, maybe another 10 minutes will go by before I write another post. ;)

More on Mae's

As I wrote the previous post on Mae's, I got excited all over again about it, so I'm writing some more.  I know everyone around here is sick of hearing about it, so I figured I'd find a new audience.  You're welcome.

As you can tell, this house has been updated for the most part.  The siding on the outside really makes it adorable and the addition to the back was the feature that really sold me.  It's a 2 bedroom (TINY bedrooms) 2 bath home.  It has a very small kitchen and dining area.  Everything is just what I wanted, honestly.

Again, these are screen shots from the website, so they are blurry.  Also, since I haven't signed the papers yet, the messes are their's not mine.  (Just making sure you know)

Laundry Room (both sides):

The kitchen:

Back corner of house:

Back of house:

Side:

Dining area:

I'm almost hesitant about putting all this information out there.  I'm so afraid this investment is going to fall through.  Faith.  Faith.  Faith.

It will take a while to get everything started, so there are some things I'm going to use the house for before it actually becomes our little shop.  I've packed up my craft room and am now working on all our homeschooling supplies to take over there first.  Those two categories alone could probably fill this entire house.  Kidding, of course.  Maybe.

I'll be spending the majority of my time during the day at this house.  I'm trying to keep myself from doing any kind of renovations at all until our home is done.  Keeping myself calm will be hard.  It doesn't need anything but paint, really, but the carpet is hiding original hardwood floors.  That is a big NO NO!!  I will abstain.  I promise.

With that being said, here are some ideas that I do want to put into action as soon as I can...

For the kitchen...

I'd like to do something like this:

and for the dining area...

something like this (smaller scale of course):

Since I've looked at this house (Mae's), I have really noticed so much wasted space in my own home.  I mean, really.  The rooms here are so large that it's truly ridiculous.  It'd be ok if it was mostly storage, but as you all know, I have none here.  Still.  I feel like cutting my kitchen and dining room in half just to have an extra room of some sorts.  Mae's is making me very jealous.  I'm just that sucker for old frame homes, I tell ya!  

Can I close already???!!!

Mae's

There have been a lot of changes going on in my life and I didn't want to blog about them until I knew for sure some of those things were actually going to come to pass.  Still, nothing is set in stone just yet and I won't be completely sure until next week sometime.  Seven to ten days from the 9th of December to be as exact as I can be.  Although I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, I guess I'll go ahead and fill you in.

About 4 1/2 years ago, Morgan and I decided we wanted to open a children's boutique.  We have had ideas flowing out of our minds so fast we couldn't focus on how to even get started.  That's how it was/has been for me anyway.  We even had a name right off the bat for it.  Mae's.  (Named after the 3 loves of my life, my daughters, Morgan, Allison and Emily, of course)  Over the years of researching and fighting the urge to go full force before being prepared, we have almost completely discarded the entire boutique idea and replaced it with a little bit of everything else.

I've tried putting it out of my head as much as possible due to lack of a place to have the shop.  I figured eventually the perfect location would present itself when the time was right.  I wanted an older home as the store, as a lot of the merchandise will be home decor...mostly handmade.  I want to be able to stage the merchandise as would be seen in a home to give some decor handicap people an idea of what a certain item would look like in a home.

Well, I'm assuming my time has come because I found the perfect house in a perfect location here in town.

My mind has been totally consumed with this house since I saw it.  It's so adorable and since I'm a sucker for older homes, I wouldn't even mind living in it.  If it were big enough.

It's not. :(

I close next week.  This has been the Longest.  Week.  Ever.

Want to see some pictures?

I thought so.

(the blurry ones are online screen shots, so be forgiving, please)

Can't wait to show the rest once it's mine, all mine. :)

When Christmas is over and the new year rolls around, I'll have more time to get over there and take more pictures and tell you what our services will be and walk you through it all.

It's going to be so much fun!

Yes, I still have this house I'm living in to finish too.