I've always known I've had it. Even though I've never been diagnosed. Maybe I'm just a slacker. Maybe I just simply wear too many hats. Whatever it is, I'm fed up. I truly find myself to be a great person, because I know my heart. BUT, if I were to look at myself from another's point of view, I don't think I'd like myself too much. I'm a promise breaker, unreliable, and a hypocrite.
Strong words? Maybe. Maybe not. How many times does one have to lie to be considered a liar? How many times does one have to steal to be considered a thief? My thoughts on that? Once.
Promise breaker: For one, I hardly ever keep my plans. When plans are made, such as lunch with a friend, I always seem to allow something to come up and take the place of it. I can look forward to it from the time it's planned until the day of, but then when it comes to the exact time, I either don't want to do it, or something has gotten in the way. A lot of times, it's completely out of my hands, but there have been times, I just didn't feel like it. Why?
Unreliable: If you ask me to be there for you in your time of need, you can bet I will be! I am a true friend. BUT, I'm the worst when it comes to getting pumped about something, while getting others pumped as well and then not even thinking about it beyond that point, not saving money for it, if it's an expensive thing, etc. I fail. Why?
Hypocrite: I'd rather not name any names, but there have been a couple people in my life who have been extremely difficult people. Honestly, I think I've dealt with mental issues from them. Either way, the way I have seen them doing things, especially with their spouses or children, makes me cringe. I just want to shake them and wake them, making them realize just what they have. I've even told Clayton how much they make me a better person because I don't want to be anything like them. I am. At least I have been. Ok, I'll admit, not on a daily basis, but still, how many times does one have to...... I'm guilty. Why?
I realize no one is perfect and I know I'm extremely far from it. Extremely! I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for the eyes to see myself, the ears to hear myself, the mouth that remains shut when need be, and the strength to do it all at once.
My ramblings.
4 comments:
Ramble on girl...love you for YOU! Not who you could BE. Never did like perfection...I like UNIQUE.
Thanks, Aunt Connie. I'm really hard on myself and when I don't see anything I do right, it gets me down. I'm ok though. I've seen worse..haha
You just rambled a blog post entirely about.....ME!!!!haha! What we have to remember is that God created each one of us and we ARE unique! He gave us our personalities (that's how we know He has a sense of humor! he he!) He knows each of us personally and He loves us no matter what. He knows your heart and mine. he knows our struggles and is there for us. What a blessing! I love knowing that I can go to Him at any time of day (or night) anywhere (even in the middle of Walmart or the drive thru at McD's) and He will be there to listen. Hug your kids and kiss your husband..they know you love them. They are your greatest accomplishments! Nothing matters more!
You are so very very right!!!
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